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Rumor Mill:   Nashoba Valley Sasquatch

2/19/2016

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With the trade deadline coming up, it is a neck and neck race between the Nashoba Valley Sasquatch and the Tewksbury Huskies on who will be the favorite to win that division.  The Huskies seem to have a slight advantage over the 'squatch and GM Dave Tammaro is looking to bolster the lineup to help them make the final push.
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A name that keeps coming up as a likely trade piece, is versatile Jeremy Ellis.  He has championship experience and can help develop younger talent with his leadership capabilities.  Ellis knows how stressful the deadline can be to a player.  He was traded mid last season from the Lowell Chiefs to the Chelmsford Cougars.  The Cougars were a solid contender behind the division favorite, the Worcester Weemen.  He got the heart-braking call that he was sent to the scourge of the NEAWL every other season, the Los Pollos Blancos of Arlington.  The Cougars would make it to the championship, but Ellis found some comfort that he did not feel the bitterness of a championship defeat.  

Now it looks like his days in Nashoba Valley are limited.  A source close to the team states that, "E
ven though this season was planned to be more of a rebuilding season, after a strong start to the year, the Sasquatch are a piece away from contending for the championship this season. I think they have some assets to move that could get them that needed piece, including an athletic fielder who can pitch as a #2."  Ellis may want to have his phone handy this deadline and just hope it's anywhere but Worcester.

Written by Nick O'Keefe
NEAWL Senior Staff


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Player Spotlight:  Jason Murphy

2/12/2016

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Picture(Murphy as Danica)
Everyone knows that Jason 'Irishmurph03' Murphy plays with a passion that is unyielding.  He leaves everything out on the field and is often vocal during climatic situations.  Where does he get this fervor, one may ask?  It all stems back to when he was a young lad dreaming that he was on the Nascar circuit.  Ever since his rocket ship/race car bed, Murphy always lived his life a quarter mile at a time.  When he was 16 years old, he fixed up a 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse.  He added lime green paint, a 4G63 quad-valve engine, 18-Inch wheels by Axis Sport Tuning Inc., and an over the top nitrous oxide system.  During one race, his eagerness may have got the best of him.  He heard a racer yell, "MANAJA!!!!", which in turn, made him use his first ever, "LETS GOOOOO!!!!"  Spectators were inspired by this phrase.  However, he used too much nitrous and ruined the manifold of his beloved car.  

There was a Nascar team owner in the crowd that fateful night and immediately approached Murphy to offer him a chance at his dream.  He wouldn't be the featured driver, however, he would be a body double...for Danica Patrick.  To be ready if his shot ever came, Irishmurph03, the arena would be empty, except for one man, still driving and striving as fast as he could. That man was Jason Murphy.  Murphy did get his shot, mostly driving during the most dangerous Nascar tracks.  Most speculate when Danica caused a wreck, it was actually Murphy who was in the drivers seat.  Tired of being a pawn for a sub-par driver, Murphy left in pursuit for his own shot at glory.  He found another racing circuit that involved rocket cars and a huge ball; Rocket League.  He immediately rose to the top and is considered one of the best Rocket league players of our generation.

During the racing offseason, he would play wiffle ball as a hobby.  He joined the NEAWL in the winter of 2014 where he was picked up by the Bay State Butter Tongues as an undrafted rookie.  When he joined the tongues, they were scrubs, pleb queens, trash, sitting in the bottom of the bones division.  Murphy would lead them to the division round finals, but lost to the Woonsocket Nockers in extra innings.  The next season, the Tongues, franchised Murphy, and made it all the way to the NEAWL Championship, but suffered a tough loss to the Nashoba Valley Sasquatch.  Murphy would go on to start his own franchise, the Brockton Bullies.  They made a decent run, but would lose to the Los Pollos Blancos of Arlington, in the divisional finals.  The following Spring, the bullies hit a bit of a snag, and traded professional body builder, Justin Martin, to the Weemen for a future pick.  Murphy almost single handedly brought the Bullies back to the divisional finals, but lost to the Chelmsford Cougars in three games.  This season, the Bullies are the team to beat.  Currently, they are in first place in the Bones division and are the favorites to win the NEAWL cup.    


LETS GOOOOOOOOOO, BULLIES.


Written by Nick O'Keefe
NEAWL Senior Staff

Trustworthy.  Honest. NEAWL News.

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Player Spotlight:    Justin Martin

2/9/2016

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Picture(Martin - Age 8)
Many of you know Justin as the man with the 19  year old body, rock hard abs, and mountainous traps, but this was not always the case.  Martin attended the Juluis Monroe Jr. camp for under exercised youngsters in Worthington, MA when he was 8 years old.  He was a little fat shitter.  The camp involved activities such as a rock wall, a club wrestling team, and lots of salad.  

This camp changed his life.  He became a force in his weight class of 150lbs.  His signature move was to run full speed at opponents, jump and wrap his plump thighs around their necks and crush them with the weight of his downward force.  He was nicknamed the Obese Anaconda.  As he grew up, weights became his best friend.  The fat melted away like butter on a hot summer day.  Being fat turned into being a wrestler, being a wrestler turned into lifting weights, lifting weights turned into becoming an Olympian.   

Picture(2012 Olympic Qualifiers)
Martin Joined the US Olympic weightlifting team and went to London in 2012.  He was disqualified for fornicating with the East German judge (She gave him a 6.5).  Some say he was the favorite for the Bronze, but the world will never know.  After his infidelities, he returned home and focused his efforts on the new chapter of his life; amateur wiffle ball.

Martin joined the NEAWL in the spring of 2014, where the Chiefs picked him up as an undrafted rookie.  His speed and fielding ability made an immediate impact on the Chiefs, but it was still not enough to propel them to the playoffs.  He was retained by the Chiefs the following season and made it all the way to the Division finals where they suffered a heartbreaking loss to the Bassholes.  Martin was a free agent, but loved Lowell show much, he signed with them again.  They failed to make the playoffs that season, and guess what, the Chiefs franchised Martin yet again.  They made it to the division finals again, but were bested by the Bassholes, in a controversial loss.  This time, with Martin's free agency, he signed with the Brockton Bullies, but was traded halfway through the season to a champion favorite, but cursed, Weemen franchise; they lost in the division championship to the Cougars.  His tenure was short with the Weemen, and was picked up by the Huskies this season.  Huskies are currently in first place in the grenade division.  Can Martin bench press the Huskies to a back to back championship?  

Written by Nick O'Keefe
NEAWL Senior Staff

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